I fucking HATE IT when you show up at some Mexican place and they throw a tiny-ass bowl of STALE, CRUMBLY tortilla chips in your face, just to be like “HEY SHITHEAD, get ready to be CRAPPED ON by some of the WORST FOOD YOU’VE EVER EATEN!!! And I’ll throw in a RAGING case of the HERSHEY SQUIRTS, gratis.”
THAT BULLSHIT WILL NOT STAND AT ACAPULCO. The chips hit the table straight out the fryer, hot as hell, lightly browned and made from ACTUAL FUCKING TORTILLAS (WELL FUCK ME TEN WAYS TO SUNDAY!!!). Ten seconds into your meal and your face is TORE UP with the goods, and they don’t mind STEAMROLLING YOUR ASS with a bowl of guac either.
Should I even bother telling you how HARD the burritos are going to FUCK YOU UP??? Fine: HARD AS ROCKS, MOTHERFUCKER. I just want to tilt my head back and wriggle that shit down my throat like SOME JACKED UP SWAN. If it’s breakfast time you can say fuck it and eat a burrito (or a sandwich if you’re some kind of asshole) or drizzle some syrup over a FAT STACK of CRUNCHY FRENCH TOAST – there’s cereal in the batter and it’s GOOD AS HELL WHUUUUUUUUUT????
Chips: MONSTER JAM
Guacamole: MONSTER JAM
Carne Asada Burrito: Jam
Crunchy French Toast: MONSTER JAM
Chorizo Burrito: MONSTER JAM
Rice and Beans: Jam
Jam to Crap Score: 10/12 83.33%
*CERTIFIED CRAP FREE*
1116 Manhattan Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11222
Review by: DJ ABYSMAL SANDWICH
Sunset Cafe’s menu is a CLUSTERFUCK list of ways to FUCK YOUR HANGOVER UP!!! They put roast beef in a quesadilla, that’s how little they give a FUCK. You might as well just give up cause this place IS TAKING OVER YOUR LIFE as soon as you step in the door.
The reuben sandwich is an OPEN FACED MONSTER JAM BEAST. They put it down in front of you like WHAT, MOTHERFUCKER?? WHAT?? The sauerkraut and the bread stay crispy. which is how you know you’re dealing with a diner that knows its SHIT. And they don’t fuck around with the bacon – they give you an ASSLOAD of it on the side of pretty much everything. I’m gonna be real with you here: this is a GREASY ASS Brooklyn diner, so there are some REAL FUCKIN CRAPPERS on the menu, like the feta and spinach omelette, which is a watery SHIT FEST – *GAG!!!* Basically if it comes on a sandwich though, it WILL NOT BE DENIED.
Reuben Sandwich: MONSTER JAM
Breakfast Sandwich: MONSTER JAM
Feta and Spinach Omelette: Crap!
Tuna Melt: MONSTER JAM
Belgian Waffle: Jam
French Onion Soup: MONSTER JAM
French Fries: Jam
Jam to Crap Score: 12/18 – *66.6%*
593 Meeker Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11222