BLUE STOVE

Posted: May 11, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: DESSERT, THE MONSTER JAM REPORT, WILLIAMSBURG | Leave a comment »

 

HOLY FUCKING CHRIST, where the FUCK do I even start with this place?  I brought my friend here one night after dinner and she literally started screaming “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!” after putting one bite of the key lime pie in her mouth.  She didn’t know what the hell was happening.  I can tell you what happened – she got SKULL FUCKED by this pie! *KABOOM!!* I’m seriously not bullshitting you here.  This pie was SO FUCKED UP GOOD that my friend had to take a minute to get her shit together after she ate it.

This place fucking SHREDS ASS and just SLAYS IT all over the place with ALL their pies. If you need to gain a FUCK TON of weight (for a movie?  how am I supposed to know?  who cares!) in a really short amount of time you should just go here and Peter Pan and call it a day with a tub of ice cream and some Roseanne reruns on NETFLIX – HELL TO THE YEAH, MOTHERFUCKERZ!..

Key Lime Pie – MONSTER JAM
Apple Pie – MONSTER JAM
Vegetable Pot Pie – Jam
Chicken Pot Pie – Jam
Coconut Creme Pie – MONSTER JAM
Pumpkin Whoopie Pie – MONSTER JAM
Red Velvet Cupcake – Jam
Banana Creme Pie – MONSTER JAM
Chocolate Pie – Jam
Apple, Bacon, Cheddar Pie – MONSTER JAM
Pear, Ginger Pie – Jam

Jam To Crap Score: 17/22 – *77.3%*

*CERTIFIED CRAP FREE*

415 Graham Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11211
(718) 766-7419

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PETER PAN DONUTS

Posted: May 10, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: DESSERT, GREENPOINT, THE MONSTER JAM REPORT | 1 Comment »

Let’s just call a spade a spade – this place is the HOLY GRAIL MOTHERFUCKER of all donut stores so you better FUCKIN RECOGNIZE!  Everything these people make tastes like god is squirting pure heaven into your mouth.  These people don’t understand how to make any SHITTY tasting food, so if you’re really craving something that’s SHITTY then you’ll have to go somewhere else because they won’t be able to help you.  They only know how to make shit that tastes FUCKING AMAZING here, OK?  You could walk into this place with a bag over your head and tell the person working there to “SURPRISE THE SHIT OUT OF ME”, and rest assured that whatever the fuck it is is going to TASTE GREAT!
My favorite shit here is the old-fashioned cake donuts and the boston creme.  Like I said before (in case you weren’t listening) – EVERYTHING HERE RULES SO JUST FUCKING BUY SOMETHING AND STOP WHINING AND BITCHING ABOUT IT – DAMN!

Old Fashioned Donut – MONSTER JAM
Boston Creme Donut – MONSTER JAM
Whatever The Fuck Donut – MONSTER JAM MONSTER JAM MONSTER JAM…..
Coffee – Jam

Jam To Crap Score: 7/8 – *87.5%*

*CERTIFIED CRAP FREE*

727 Manhattan Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11211
(718) 389-3676

 

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