HAREFIELD ROADPosted: June 17, 2011 | Author: DJ MONSTER JAM | Filed under: BRUNCH, WILLIAMSBURG | Leave a comment »
These are the keywords that I’m gonna kick this shit off with: SOLID, GO-TO, DECENT, NOT HALF BAD. This place has a SUPER DECE bar atmosphere and wait staff that look at you like you’re a FUCKING MORON when you order, cus let’s face it, you probably are. BUT, how do I put this delicately…THIS PLACE HAS SOME SERIOUS FUCKING CRAP TOO! It’s like a pretty, smart girl with some SERIOUS MUFFIN TOP. BUT STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING!! YOUR ASS ISN’T COOL ENOUGH TO GET ANYONE AWESOME ANY GODDAMN WAY!!
The Huevos Rancheros is a MOS DEF MONSTER JAM and you can actually differentiate what you’re putting in your mouth INSTEAD OF SOME HOT SLOP MASH OF EGG SALSA. The bloody mary is another SOLID JAM OF SPICEY BOOZE to light a fire under your lazy ass. The BLT isn’t quite a monster, but it gets BIG ASS PROPS for actual hand carved turkey and not BULLSHITTING ME WITH SOME BODEGA DELI SLICES YOU EAT WHILE YOU’RE HUNGOVER IN YOUR UNDERWEAR WATCHING THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL. BUT, unless you’re some SICK FECAL FREAK that actually likes the taste of SHIT in your mouth then stay the fuck away from the breakfast burrito. It’s a certified WET JUICY CRAPHOLE. The turkey wrap looked like a PIECE OF SHIT as well. If you steer clear of any of the BULLSHIT wraps, you’ll PROBABLY be in the serious clear for a relatively dope experience.
Huevos Rancheros: MONSTER JAM
Breakfast Burrito: Crap!
Bloody Mary: Jam
Eggs Benedict: Jam
Home Fries: Jam
Jam To Crap Score: 6/12 – *50.0%*
769 Metropolitan Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11226
Review by: D. SCOTT SPINNEY